I Reckon You're More Resilient Than You Think

When You Don’t Feel Very Resilient

Resilience is often talked about as if it’s a personality trait — something you either have or you don’t. As if some people are just built tougher, more capable, more able to handle what life throws at them.

But in reality, many people don’t feel resilient at all.

They feel tired.
Worn down.
Less flexible than they used to be.
Less certain they still “have it in them.”

And that can create a quiet fear:
What if I don’t have what it takes anymore?

Here’s something worth pausing with.

You’ve already survived every hard day you’ve ever had. Every moment you thought might undo you. The visible ones — and the quiet ones no one else saw. The days you showed up while hurting. The stretches where you didn’t know how you’d keep going — and yet, somehow, you did.

The fact that you’re here, reading this, means your system adapted. It found ways to get you through.

That isn’t luck.
It isn’t willpower.
And it certainly isn’t proof that things didn’t affect you.

Of course they did.

What it is evidence of is capacity — the ability to withstand, adjust, and survive under pressure, even when you don’t feel strong, confident, or particularly put together.

Resilience isn’t about feeling unshaken. It’s not about endless pushing or staying positive. More often, it looks like continuing while uncertain. While scared. While exhausted. It looks like adapting quietly, imperfectly, and without recognition.

Many people assume that losing energy, motivation, or optimism means they’ve lost resilience. But very often, what’s actually happening is that the nervous system has been working hard for a long time. The body and brain have been carrying load — compensating, protecting, adjusting.

That doesn’t mean resilience is gone.
It means it’s being used.

And like any system that’s been under sustained strain, it may need support before it can show up in the same way again.

Resilience isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it’s barely noticeable. Sometimes it’s choosing to keep going when the road ahead feels long, uncertain, or intimidating — not because you feel ready, but because something in you still knows how to move forward, even slowly.

If you’re reading this and thinking, I don’t feel strong, that doesn’t mean strength isn’t there. It may just be quieter right now. More internal. Less performative.

You’ve walked through hard things before and made it through — not unchanged, not untouched — but still here.

And that matters.

Keep going in the ways that are possible. At a pace your system can tolerate. Not because you owe the world resilience or productivity — but because your life still holds meaning, even when things feel heavy.